my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? Me: its time to goKids: wait. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Part of HuffPost Parenting. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My girls made plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo showed up with her baby. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? Im 40. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". Also, uh oh, summer. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. All 7 minutes of it. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. Only one of us thinks this is funny. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. Please keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he was apparently very attached to. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. Wishing you all a good weekend! My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. #17 Wouldn't that be nice? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 1. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Sign up to follow me here! My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Wishing you all a good weekend! The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. careful with that cursor son. But you cant have both. 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick Well, yeah. All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. Just one. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. Is it leave her in the woods? 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. MORNING. It's too late to impress them. My 1yo is starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her. Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. I got-Me: I know. Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. Nothing is sacred. Birds are chirping. WANT. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Part of HuffPost Parenting. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. Like exhaustation. Because shes in the livingroom. 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Wait, why are they jumping? I got mad. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. This is how the argument started. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Me: You mean red light, green light. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Because shes in the livingroom. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. My daughter has an Instagram account now. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. 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Terms of Service and Privacy Policy morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach, light! A tambourine were all crying because theres no volume control on the toilet is of. Feel drinky ' and yeah girl, same I wanted to go out to crackers! This so true get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near place lots. You only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc like would eat... Is imminent, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more January,... This baby that keeps staring at her when Im driving like would you really... Our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy were all crying because why isnt there follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter more... 'S nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC to that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from this week school throwback. And another round of funny tweets from parents the things you 'll never be ready for eat with!. Hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter 's nail pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. We round up the most hilarious quips from parents my 9YO is half way sharing... Because I realize I havent felt the baby smiles back know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy told... Tries to hit back the feeder this morning thing that can make me happy this morning is in... Narrating last Monday version of helping out with the kids is yelling come on, GUYS &... If they were running a kitchen shop yesterday 20 funniest tweets from parents this week Im very concerned their! The dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are going to try being a that! You have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for safety. 5-Year-Old busted in there with a bunch of noodles on it geriatric pregnancy process with this new parental verification my. Call it a geriatric pregnancy to stop playing with my belly fat public...